Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have a reading level above third grade

I know who the president of Turkey really is

What are the similarities and differences between the policies of Democrats and Republicans currently?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Is visiting holy shrines (dargahs) or graves haraam in Islam?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

How do you go about getting invited to an orgy?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t buy bullshit

What is your opinion on the band Nickelback? Why do they receive criticism from some people?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Citi drops gun policy after Trump slammed banks for discriminating against conservatives - New York Post

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why is North Korea a jail?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

N.J. resident traps rabid raccoon, officials say - NJ.com

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

23andMe Sets New Auction With $305 Million New Bid From Ex-CEO - Bloomberg

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

What real evidence is there to believe in legends such as the story of Atlandida or the lost continent of Lemuria?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

CrowdStrike Swings to Loss as Expenses From Last Summer’s Outage Persist - WSJ

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have a "fat pussy" and I'm super self cautions about it. Do guys think it's gross?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Are there any queer Space Marine Legion in Warhammer 30k or 40k?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

How do I overcome attachment issues?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I see through liars

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I can count

I don’t cotton to rapists

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I can read

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I actually pay taxes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms